If you are constantly striving for perfection, you are probably exhausted and disappointed most of the time and you may even find that you have bouts of anxiety and depression and the occasional outbursts of anger. Perfectionism, whilst sometimes projecting us to great heights can also mean that we watch less fastidious people with less qualifications or commitment get ahead of us in the world.
Far from being a positive trait, perfectionism may well be hindering your chances of success. A typical perfectionist will be carrying around thoughts that actually sabotage their development and growth and the more that they listen to that inner critical voice the harder it is for a perfectionist to reach their goals.
Do you struggle to get started on projects? Does the fear surrounding getting things spot on get in the way of just beginning? Does it take you longer to complete tasks at work, do you stay up too late revising or finishing off that last chore before morning? Perfectionists have trouble enjoying the process focussing to much on the end goal. Sometimes this can even create anxiety surrounding trying something new for fear of failure. Does any of this sound familiar?
I invite you to think for a moment:
How realistic do you think it is to achieve perfection and how will you know when you’ve got there?
What drives you to appear to be, or need to be perfect?
Why does being perfect matter to you?
What would be so wrong with striving to be your personal best or simply good enough?
How did you respond?
Did it occur to you that maybe you are using perfectionism as a form of shield against the world?
If I am perfect then I am immune to criticism…if I am perfect no-one can judge me………if I am perfect people will ignore my flaws…..if I am perfect I will be more acceptable to others etc.
I would suggest that saying you are a perfectionist is similar to saying that you are never good enough. That doesn’t feel like a positive trait to me. What do you think?
Michelle Brown dip.couns. CCTP MBACP is an experienced BACP registered counsellor working in private practice in the centre of Tunbridge Wells 07879424488 www.michellebrowntherapy.co.uk (she considers herself to be good enough)