What extraordinarily challenging times we are facing.
Recent events will have undoubtedly touched your life in someway by now, be that anxiety for the future, depression caused through isolation, stress brought on by the work you are doing, worry about making ends meet because overnight you have lost your job and of course the worry for our loved ones near and far.
Additionally your normal coping mechanisms may have been stripped away, things like connecting to nature, meeting your friends for a coffee or connecting to others through team sports are temporarily options no longer available to us. Of course normal life events such as relationship issues and grief continue to affect us just as they always have.
If you are lucky you may be sitting it out in a comfortable house surrounded by people you love, but what about the people stuck in abusive relationships, living with addicts or completely isolated because of their health or their job? I read recently of a paramedic sleeping in a caravan because he fears infecting his family when he finishes work Everywhere you turn you cannot help but find a way in which “normal” lives have been interrupted or changed forever.
Hello, my name is Michelle Brown and I am an experienced BACP registered counsellor who usually works from my own dedicated office in central Tunbridge Wells, but who is only working online via zoom right now delivering counselling services nationwide.
I really believe in the power of positivity but I have to be honest and admit I have struggled these last few weeks, never in my lifetime has an event indiscriminately affected so many people on such a global scale. My clients narratives surrounding their hardship, generosity, anxiety and stress have touched me more deeply than ever before. I have watched the gallows humour on social media, the panic buying, the fear, the anxiety, the loss and the hardship experienced by so many and the resetting of our everyday normal and I have been filled with a sense of grief, a feeling that the world has irrevocably changed.
I’ve felt the familiar heaviness of depression creeping in and unable to use my usual avoidance techniques, working too hard, walking in nature, being close to my family, I had started to be enveloped in a trance like state, unable to find the motivation to get on with the millions of things I always wish I have time to do. Focusing on the negatives will do that to you. Our brains are designed that way. Historically our brains focusing on the negatives would have kept us safe, for instance if a tiger was running towards us, it wouldn’t make sense for us to look on the positive side and hope that it was just going for a jog. So what do you do once you’ve recognised you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of negativity? How do you break the trance and power the parasympathetic nervous system back up?
Acceptance - you cannot control very much in this situation but perhaps you can have a say in how you react.
Be present, check in with how you are in the here and now what are you grateful right now?
Only allow yourself to check in with the news once a day
If you are spending too much time on social media look for the positive stories.
Find something to really deeply focus on,a brain concentrating on something complicated or enjoyable is unlikely to be able to ruminate.
Find purpose, how can you help others?
Put in structure, even if you only complete small tasks each day, many small steps add up to a big distance over time.
Be kind - It’s OK to feel whatever you are feeling right now, try to find someone you can openly express those feelings with.
The world is going to change there’s no question about it, but I’m hoping we will all come out of the other side of this with more compassion, gratitude, empathy and a desire for equality, has there ever been such a leveller in our lifetime?
Take the very best care of yourself and If you need help please do get in touch, I always offer sessions at a reduced rate to those struggling and I want to help in anyway I can and if you’ve found this article useful, share it with a friend.
Michelle Brown dip.couns.MBACP
07879424488
info@michellebrowntherapy.co.uk