Would you spend your whole life with somebody who really wanted you to fail? What would it feel like if every time you made a mistake or things didn’t go the way you planned, that person pitched in to highlight and magnify your failings and made it their mission to tell you how stupid you were for even trying instead of helping you up and brushing you off.
Eventually your self-worth would be destroyed and you would start to believe that you didn’t really deserve to succeed so why were you even trying? What effect do you think that might have on your self-esteem and self-belief? Do you think you would be able to achieve your dreams and attain your goals with them constantly putting you down? Do you think you would keep that person in your life once you realised the effect they were having on you or would you seek out more positive friendships with people that wanted you to do well?
The sad fact is that without even realising it many of us spend our whole lives with a negative influence like this one keeping us stuck and stopping us reaching our full potential and the worse thing is that this negative influence isn’t a negative partner or friend it is ourselves! We berate ourselves when we get things wrong, we sabotage our potential by telling ourselves we are not good enough, we push people away because we tell ourselves we are unlovable. When we walk around with an internal voice that is critical, unkind and unforgiving is it any wonder that we end up feeling depressed, anxious and inadequate? Therapists call this negative inner voice “the inner critic” and once we start to notice the power it has over our lives we can start taking steps to challenge it, turn down its volume and eventually replace it with an inner cheerleader!
What difference do you think that might make to your life? Can you imagine carrying around an inner voice that brushed off your mistakes and pepped you up, that encouraged you to try again and that was so full of love that you believed you deserved to succeed? Can you envisage loving yourself unconditionally and completely and being true to yourself? How could that sort of positivity impact your life?
Maybe this is something an empathic counsellor could help you with.